Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
