Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
His nipple licking is glorious
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