so explain again why im purple
no
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
