I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
