dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
