Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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