i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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