How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
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