he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
