I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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