i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize