I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
