Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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