you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He shit in the fireplace
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
