so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
