You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Best friends brother. Beat that.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
