GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
