I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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