He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
