i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
