At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
