Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
