does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
