I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
