She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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