There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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