Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
