Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
