but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
