If that was your dad, he is hot
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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