im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
