end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There's even glitter on my cock...
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