yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
