Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
