I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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