shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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