Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
