I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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