Only a mothe r could love this liver
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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