Buhtt sex?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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