its not stalking. its research.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
