Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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