i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
