I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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