I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She even gives head with a lisp.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
