OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
