i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
