My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
