How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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