the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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