I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hippo gnu deer
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
