how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
