There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
