brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
