it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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