I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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