I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
