It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
