Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
