His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
