two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize