Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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